2021, What's Up?

At the moment, cannot find a source

Alright, so it's 2021. Ironically I don't know if I have much to say. I have the same belief that I've had every time a year ends, and a new year begins. I don't really vibe with resolutions. Or more so resolutions that are created at the very beginning of the year. 

I for one, like to create goals throughout the year. Goals that popped into my head one day and these goals that I set for myself, don't have to be succeeded in the year I created them. As history shows in my life, most of my goals, and the ones I've mentioned on this blog, took multiple years to accomplish. This is because I know myself, and if I required myself to accomplish these certain goals in one year, I would have failed miserably and abandoned the goal completely.

But hey, if you're the type of person who creates your goals at the beginning of the year, and that works for you, kudos to you.

This year, in particular, I have no expectations. So far, my only goal is to be able to travel somewhere. I've been lucky enough to travel to somewhere exciting every two years, so I hope that I can keep that up. We will see how that goes, particularly with some countries not accepting travel because of Covid.

As the year goes by I'm sure there will be other goals that I create, and there will be goals that I will be able to accomplish and that feels good. 

Mercedes

A Mumble Jumble of A Time

My my has it been a long time. Just a few more months and it would've been a year since I last posted. I didn't intend to do this, I just had frequent writer's block, so here we are. 

It's also felt so long because of this little thing called Covid-19. I won't talk too much about that because what hasn't been said? Life has been a lot, hasn't it? What have I been up to you ask? School, emotions, and many many thoughts, which I wasn't able to write here. I'm a year older, and that's affected some of my thoughts. I never felt different each time I had a birthday, but this one...it's changed everything. Meh, we'll move on, I'm on the up and up.

I think part of what my writers block stemmed from was the fact that a few of my recent posts have been more personal than the rest of my posts. I didn't know how to write after that. Do I continue to write about my experiences; sad experiences? If I were to continue that, I'd either have way too many posts, or the blog would seemingly end. Neither of which I want. I just don't think I want this to be a public journal. I want to write about myself and my experiences sure, but there needs to be a boundary. So, here we are, a year later. It's been a conundrum of time. 

I'm quite nostalgic I think. Remembering the years of ease, the years of less pain, the time that felt like late nights, neverending, with just deep and random thoughts with friends, significant others, and so forth. Maybe I feel nostalgic is because our times are uncertain right now, it's hard to imagine a future that is normal again. So I'm going back into my mental files of happy memories; traveling, more time with friends, independence, and randomly, good weather. Weather that is utterly relaxing and soft. 

So here I am, nostalgic as all get out. In a mumble jumble of a time. 

Hopefully, I'll be back sooner.

Mercedes

Hello Again

Hello

So, my friends its been a while. I didn't intentionally mean to have not posted for many months, it just happened. I actually started writing posts or coming up with ideas, but none of them felt right, or worth posting, and that is how it happened. 

I'm here now though, in the beginning of December. Will I do a recap of the months in which I didn't post? No, mainly because nothing is noteworthy in writing down and remembering years down the road. I am happy to say though, that I feel content with where I am in life, which I cannot tell you how good that feels, especially considering that for years now, I have been under constant stress, and let me tell you, it's exhausting and painful. I still have my stressors, and who knows, maybe something will drop again and I'll be stressed all the more, but for now, I feel good. 

My family and I have discovered a lot in these months about my health. Luckily just learning, nothing really negative which is a huge relief. Again, it feels good to be content and to have a small breath of relief. 

Other than this, I really don't have much to say, I really just felt it was time to sit down and write. I haven't done it in quite some time. Ok, well I am excited about Christmas, more excited than the past few years of adulthood. The child type fo excitement. The can't sleep, just waiting for days to pass until it's Christmas Eve. It's kind of fun to feel that young excitement again, in your adulthood, it's just something special.

Book Time

Blah

Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. Now as a woman, naturally I have a knowledge of my body. Yet I wanted to learn more and so I did. Now while this book might be more aimed for an audience who is trying to have children, but still there is so much amazing information for those who aren't. Loved it and recommend it.

A Greyhound, A Groundhog by Emily Jenkins. I adore this picture book. It's cute, has beautiful illustrations, and is just in a simple way, entertaining. 

Escargot by Dashka Slater. Another picture book, and entertaining. A fun twist on escargot, I don't know, just take a look at it.

The Girl With Seven Names by Hyeonseo Lee. A true story from the life of the author about her experience being North Korean and leaving. Give it a read.

The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur. Eh, just another poetry book, by a social media loved poet. It's good, it's just, I guess something I don't care for. 

Camp Austen: My Life As An Accidental Jane Austen Superfan by Ted Scheinman. Sounded intriguing, but I was highly disappointed. Honestly, I don't think it really touched on him being a superfan. Simply brought up by a woman who loved it. I don't recommend it. 

Les Orteils N'ont Pas De Nom by Jean Leroy. A children's book we read in my French class. It's cute.

The Book of Cheese: The Essential Guide To Discovering Cheeses You'll Love by Liz Thorpe. I mean, it's a book about delicious cheese, need I say more?

Survival Lessons by Alice Hoffman. A book about the experience of Breast Cancer, and the lessons learned by the author. 

In The Company of Women by Grace Bonney. A book about women and their careers, why they chose them and anything else about the business women. I liked it, it was an easy read.

Map Stories: The Art of Discovery by Franciska Matteoli. It's an interesting book about some of the early discoveries in the world, and how they were discovered. I enjoyed it.

Georgia O'Keeffe by Wanda M. Corn. I love Georgia O'Keeffe. Her art is lovely, and I loved this book about her life and art. It would make a nice coffee table book. 

Walk: The Path To A More Mindful Life by Sholto Radford. A fun little book about walking and the benefits and things you can do add to your experience.

We're With You: Counsel and Encouragement From Your Brethren by Council of The Twelve Apostles. A book for members of the LDS faith, and the advice from the authors. 

Monet: Water Lilies: The Complete Series by Jean-Dominique Rey. A coffee table book of all of Monets Water Lilies. Simply beautiful.

Meet Cute: Some People Are Destined To Meet by Jennifer L. Armentrout and others. A compilation of short meet-cute stories. 

In Other Words by Jhumpa Lahiri. The authors learning process and experience to learn Italian. In the one book is the English version and Italian. Which is cool.

Wendell The Norwhal by Emily Dove. A cute book about a Narwhal and where he belongs.

Last Stop On The Reindeer Express by Maudi Powell-Tuck. A lovely and colorful book about Christmas.

Lost In The Library by Josh Funk. Told from the lions; Patience and Fortitude. It's cute and fun and is all about learning.

Les Livre Des Bruits by Soledad Bravi. Again, a book we read in my French class. Again, cute.

Ordinary, Extraordinary Jane Austen by Deborah Hopkinson. Obviously a book about Jane Austen, but a picture book, the best kind of books. Cute.

Love Is Walking Hand In Hand by Charles M. Schulz. Charlie Brown and friends valentine book. Cute. Always.

Eat What You Watch: A Cookbook For Movie Lovers by Andrew Rea. Written by the Youtuber, Binging With Babish, who creates food seen in movies and television. 

To All The Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han. I mean if you haven't heard or seen the Netflix original adaptation of this book, then what are you doing here? It's a fun story about teenage love, a category I nearly stay far far away from. I love it SO much. 

Dorothea's Eyes: Dorothea Lange Photographs The Truth by Barb Rosenstock. A book about Dorothea Lange's life and the images she captured.

I Am A Cat by Galia Bernstein. I read it simply to see if my nephew, who likes cats, would enjoy this. I have yet to show or read it to him. Oh well, it's cute all the same.

Franklins Flying Bookshop by Jen Campbell. A picture book, aesthetically cute, but didn't care for the story. 

P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han. The sequel to All The Boys book. Just as fun and great. 

Jacques David Louis' Death of Marat by Willaim Vaughan. I wrote about this painting for art history, and here we are. Quite informational and neat, but again, just for class.

Art History: A Critical Introduction To It's Methods by Michael Hatt. Again, Art History, but for all the students. I think all the methods are interesting, and all are used in Art History. 

Alma And How She Got Her Name by Juana-Martinez Neal. Well, we already know what the book is about from the title, and I love it so much. Appeals to audiences who also have long names, and why they have those names.

Thank You Omu! by Oge Mora. A sweet story about sharing, and the benefits of that act of kindness.

The Rough Patch by Brian Lies. A picture book, it's alright. 

A Mind Unraveled by Kurt Eichenwald. ALRIGHT, GUYS. I love this book so so much. I think it's so important that people read this. It sheds a light into what people who are disabled can experience. Sure not everyone has gone through what this author has, but that might be why it's so important. So that these things stop happening. Please, read this, this is the book I need people to read. 

Always And Forever, Lara Jean by Jenny Han. The end of the series for the All The Boys trilogy. Love it, as I did for the other two.

The World of Matisse: 1869-1954 by John Russell. Um, art lover much? Still, loved this, as per usual.

The Art Forger by B.A Shapiro. Loved it, you know art history and all, but some mystery included to keep it interesting, even though it was already interesting. Historical Fiction and I believe that there is a little bit of language, I think.

The Emotionary: A Dictionary Of Words That Don't Exist For Feelings That Do by Eden Sher. Alright, I must admit when I first chose to read this, I thought it was a book of words that are lesser known or in another language for emotions. I was wrong, which I think affected my liking of this book. Also, for some of the emotions she described, there are existing words, so take this as you want.

Broad Strokes: 15 Women Who Made Art and Made History In That Order by Bridget Quinn. Yes, I love art and the artists of history. I love the female artists just as much, cause I mean, come on. I don't know though, I just think there are better books, but that's just me.

Eight Twenty Eight: When Love Didn't Give Up by Larissa Murphy. Ok, so I added this to my Goodreads who knows how many years ago, but clearly I remembered nothing as to why I added it. Yes, I remember that it included a difficult situation. I don't know though, it might've been the overload of religion in it, or something else but I didn't love it. I know, the family is highly religious, clearly and that's great, it was just too much for me, who is also religious. 

What We Lose by Zinzi Clemmons. I just finished this and I liked it. There's language, but aside that I found the story interesting and enjoyable, as well as something many can relate to. 

So here we are. It's been a while and this is a lot, but we made it. Thanks.

Mercedes

Food Memories

Tacos Up, Pinkies Out

Even though I finished my food goal, I've decided to keep reviewing the recipes I've made. And since it's been a bit, I'll get right into it.

Rice and Veggie Bowl.  I discovered this recipe from my sister. She's made it a few times, and the last time I had it, I got to help make it. It's a really simple recipe, and it tastes lovely.

Pan Seared Salmon with Lemon Garlic Cream Sauce. Lately, I've been big into salmon, it tastes great, there are so many recipes to try, and it's good for your health. I love this recipe, soft fish, and some nice sauce to go on top.

Honey, Apple, Cheddar, and Bacon Panini. I made this with my friend in the fall. Now I haven't had many paninis in my life, but this panini is amazing. The cheddar might throw you, but these flavors that you wouldn't think go well together, create an amazing dish!

Bourbon and Brown Sugar Peach Pie. Now, I didn't end up using bourbon because I'm not about to buy a bottle of bourbon when I would only need a tablespoon of it. So I used a substitute. Still delicious as ever.

Cardamom + Coconut Peach Crumble. Alright, my love of peaches will never die, and I will always find recipes to try. This is to die for. It's the true essence of summer, and possibly the transition from summer to fall. Try it!

How to Make Hasselback Apples. I made this the same time I made the panini mentioned above. Well, I made this with my friend. It's delicious and warm, perfect for fall.

Bruleed Pumpkin Pie. Honestly, I think I knew before I made it, that I wouldn't love it. If you like eating pumpkin pie without a crap ton of either ice cream or whipped cream, this could potentially be for you. Really is more beautiful than anything.

One-Bowl Chocolate Rose Cake(For Two). Easy to make chocolate cake, delicious, and just why not? I replaced the buttermilk and espresso powder, hot cocoa powder worked for me.

Chocolate Dipped Heart Rice Krispie Treats. Made this for this upcoming valentines day. Simple, cute, and delicious. I dipped some in the white chocolate, and some in melted milk chocolate, with drizzles of the opposite chocolate, both are delicious.

Overnight Cinnamon Rolls. I made these for the upcoming holiday as well, delicious. I also just used all-purpose flour, and it was fine. But if you want to use bread flour as well, go for it.

Chewy Brown Sugar Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe. I just made these a few hours ago. I love them. They have a little more salt than your typical cookie, but it works.

Red Wine Marinated Flank Steak with Cherry Tomato Caprese Salsa. I made this with my siblings just a few hours ago, and so I don't take all the credit. It was delicious and the flavors of the steak and salsa are delightful.

Hope you enjoyed, and find a recipe you'd like to make!

Goodnight,

Mercedes

I Was Not Made To Be Subtle

Not Aware of the Source

I so badly wish that I could write this with the hopes of feeling better, that I'd come out of this post hopeful and positive, but I don't believe it.

You see, I've recently gone through some shit. I'm sorry if you are bothered by that word, but it's the only word that truly expresses what I've been going through, honestly, I'm restraining myself from using other expletives.

I saw this quote recently that said, "There are two types of tired I suppose. One is a dire need of sleep. The other is a dire need of peace."

I'm the later. I'm just tired. I have been trying so hard to live my life positively, hopeful. Trying to take control of whatever I can. I thought that this year; 2019, was finally the year I would find true happiness and peace. That things would start working out. And yet, right when I start believing, I get kicked right back down. And I'm tired. Just so tired of continually failing.

My parents have always, especially in the last few years, said to believe the best in people. People can do idiotic things, or make mistakes, but just try and assume the best. It'll make your life easier. Well, I'm tired of trying to believe the best in people when they don't give me the same courtesy.

I just want people to know how hard it is to be disabled, particularly to have an invisible disability. People assume you are fine, "normal". To which I say, what is normal? What, because I'm not in a wheelchair or need crutches or whatever else, my life is automatically easy? I'm not going through continuous hell? I'm not fine. I'm far from it. We take trainings for either work or school that describe scenarios of discrimination and harassment, and yet, it still happens. It still happens and I've had enough. People are being more open about the harassment they've experienced, and its created conversations that I'm all for. But where are the conversations about disability? Who is talking about it outside their homes?

People often wonder why I'm so outspoken, so willing to share everything about myself. I thoroughly enjoy sharing those details, there is always something stupid or emotional or unique, that people can relate to. It gets rid of small talk and makes every single conversation genuine. Lately, I've realized there are things that I need to share with others. Not many people I know, know many people with epilepsy. It's a disability sure, but it's rarely talked about. And that's why I'm here. To open those closed doors. To force people to think about it, and talk about it. If I make you uncomfortable, well, you should be. And maybe, just maybe discrimination will subside. People will be kind, people will be given opportunities otherwise not possible, and people will stop feeling like life isn't worth living. People can start to be able to stop holding their breath for the next bomb to drop. They can sigh a breath of relief.

While I do find life worth living, I'm here to keep fighting, to let people know I'm not going anywhere. I've struggled lately with telling people big events in my life because it all so suddenly changes and I'm tired of telling them oh, that's not a thing anymore. It's embarrassing and makes me want to crawl back into my shell like a turtle. And I'm tired feeling that way because I do actually like telling people my life events. It feels like I'm holding a secret and I hate it.

I know this is a downer of a read, but I need your support. I care about each of you, and I genuinely want you all to know about my life. If any of you felt heard and understood, just know that I love you. I love you so much, and I know I don't say it nearly enough. I don't have the words, and I also know that you might not want them anyways. If I could hold you and hug you and listen to you for hours on end, I would, because you deserve it.

With love,

Mercedes

Believe You Can and You're Halfway There

Collect Beautiful Moments

BOOKS

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Emmusca Orczy. I LOVE this book. I first saw the movie, then the play, and I finally got to the book. I recommend with all my being.

Oil and Marble: A Novel of Leonardo and Michelangelo by Stephanie Storey. Once again, I LOVE this book. I mean, you can't entirely go wrong with a book about two great figures in Art History. Leonardo, the talented jerk, who could entirely, not be a jerk. Michelangelo, the strong spirited who proves everyone wrong. How lucky are we that these men created art, and that we have the opportunity to see it in our lifetimes? 

Rhett and Link's Book of Mythicality: A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery by Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal. A very entertaining read that lightens your day. A book to embrace all that you are, and have a blast no matter your age. 

Float by Daniel Miyares. A cute little picture book. I'm always willing to read cute little picture books. Especially ones involving rain.

She Persisted Around the World: 13 Women Who Changed History by Chelsea Clinton. Just as special as the first. Who couldn't love this book when it involves important women and illustration?

The Digger and the Flower by Joseph Kuefler. Another entertaining picture book. 

Autumn by Ali Smith. A book that in general left me in confusion, and awe, and still somehow I came from it, enjoying it, and truly loving it. Crazy how that happens, but totally signing up for the next 3.

Birds and Other Animals with Pablo Picasso by Pablo Picasso. A book of Pablo's sketches of birds and other animals. What? What were you expecting? Obviously, I enjoyed it.

Blue and Other Colors: With Henri Matisse by Phaidon. A book of colors involving Matisse' artwork. Again, obviously, I enjoyed it.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health by Toni Weschler. I LOVE this book. 1) how has there been so much I never knew until now? 2)why, why is this not required reading for health and whatnot? 3)just read it please, whoever you are, whatever gender you are. It's lovely and I plan on owning this soon. 

Legendary Routes of the World by Alexandre Verhille. A pop-up book of...legendary routes of the world. Entertaining indeed.

The Keeping Quilt by Patricia Polacco. A precious children's book. I love it oh so much.

The Little Book of Lykke: The Danish Search for the World's Happiest People by Meik Wiking. Enjoyed it as much as it's brother; The Little Book of Hygge.

TouchThinkLearn: ABC by Xavier Deneux. The loveliest ABC book I have read as a twenty-something-year-old. I want it, and I'm not ashamed.

The Gunner by Rebecca Kauffman. I enjoyed this book. Maybe it was the excessive picture book reading, maybe it felt familiar in how she depicted friendship, maybe it was her beautiful writing. But I enjoyed this, and there's nothing else to it. Could have done without the meat slaughter description, and without some of the language used throughout.

Audrey Hepburn by Isabel Sánchez Vegara. Another Audrey Hepburn book. Nothing new. At this point it's just habit.

RECIPES

Bacon Double Cheddar Cheeseburger with Caramelized Onions. I like this recipe, in fact, my family has used it multiple times since.

Izze Floats. So these don't actually have a title as far as I'm aware. It also doesn't really have a recipe, so I just went with the idea. Some gelato/sorbet, and some Izze. Worked well enough.

Two Ingredient Strawberry Milkshakes. I liked these, the coconut milk/juice made it a little funny, but I still enjoyed it enough to make it again.

Healthy Triple Berry Spinach Smoothie. LOVED IT.

Peppermint Ice Cream and Hot Cocoa "Affogato". Babe, this 'Affogato' shiz is thic. But a little ice cream never hurt no one.

How to Make Italian Hot Cocoa. ^Same above applies.

Homemade Thin Mints. Try as you might, these will never taste like the artificially made thin mints. Boo. Also, try as you might, you'll find it impossible to find a recipe without lactose for your dear dear friend. Boo.

Bourbon and Brown Sugar Peach Pie. LOVED IT. Can't go wrong with Pie. Can't go wrong with Peaches.

Clementine Cake Inspired by The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I have been wanting to make this for about 4 years. And I did it. I finally made it. And it truly delicious enough to serve to what, the Taliban? OR you know, to get to wherever he needed to go to find Sean Penn. Just watch the movie.

Chocolate Magic Custard Cake. I honestly hate this. Truly I do. So did my family. I really don't recommend this. At all.

Homemade Dutch Babies. Oh Dutch babies, how I enjoy you.

Avocado Eggs Benedict with Bacon and Goat Cheese. In Runaway Bride she takes the entire movie to figure out her favorite style of egg. Well, I know mine, and I love eggs benedict. A true testimony of how my taste is expensive. Also, get an immersion blender, makes your life sooo much easier. 

Cooking Bacon in the oven, but rinsing it in cold water first. No link. Supposedly helps with shrinkage. 10 minutes at 365 degrees F.

The Creamiest Cacio E Pepe Ever, Approved by Mario Batali. Oh, how I failed all of the Italians in existence, actually all of the Italians who have ever existed. Please have mercy on me, I will do better in the future, I promise.

French Dip Sandwich. I love this, and will never stop. Nothing like a good Au Jus and Baguette.

Baked Honey Cilantro Lime Salmon in Foil. Who knew I could like salmon so much. Oh, I also forgot the cilantro completely, which, no complaints from my family members. so good thing I guess?

Grilled Lime Salmon with Avocado-Mango Salsa and Coconut Rice. True love if I've ever experienced it. 

California Club with Chipotle Mayo. A lovely sandwich that will rip your mouth, but worth it? Also, I just used regular ol' mayo. Because I can.

Ok wow. you made it. Or you didn't, but YAY. 

I may or may not be forgetting recipes, but all I know is I have now made 200 recipes!

I am OFFICIALLY done with this recipe goal of mine. It's taken it's time: 4 years, 3 months, and 5 days, but I don't even care, I AM DONE! It feels weird, but I am still happy.

What a time. 

Good Night dears,

Mercedes